De-Clawed
by artemisian
Summary: After being stuck in as a kitten, Harry thought his life couldn't get any worse, but then again, this was before a certain jester found him and decided Harry would make a nice pet.
1. A x Strange x Companion

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the fic idea/writing.

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Summary: After being stuck in as a kitten, Harry thought his life couldn't get any worse, but then again, this was before a certain jester found him and decided Harry would make a nice pet.

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Alright, here's my second hxh/hp crossover and it's just as indulgent and weird as the first. I got the idea from talking with a friend (queengertrudes on tumblr), saying jokingly how I might have to write another hxh/hp cross with Harry stuck in his animagus form, who as a cat, claws Hisoka when he tries to go after Gon.

Thus, this fic was created.

Story will be presented in drabbles, but they won't be in chronological order.

Warnings: Canon typical violence?, weirdness, crack -

Pairings: ... actually, I have no idea. Does anyone have any ideas? Harry's eventually gonna turn back into a human and I'm _kinda_ leaning towards Hisoka/Harry _but_ ... idk.

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1. A x Strange x Companion

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"Not bad, little boy." Hisoka cocks his head sideways to glance at Gon through his peripherals – his expression managing to be both _a bit_ haughty and _very_ terrifying. A bruise is forming high on his cheek from where the boy had snapped the end of his fishing pole at him, red and painful looking. His eyes narrow and his smile widens just a bit, conveying both poorly hidden malice and bloodlust. At the word 'boy' his hair moves strangely, writhing and wriggling independent of the almost non-existent wind circling the clearing. Then his hair mostly stills, just barely moving when thin rivulets of blood begin to soak the crown of Hisoka's hair and run down his forehead, just narrowly missing the corner of his eyes. Just a bit of blood begins to pool in the dip of Hisoka's lips before overflowing and cascading down his chin, to his neck, to soak the collar of his shirt.

Hisoka seems just as surprised at his injury as Leorio and Gon – who have both gone very, very still just in case Hisoka remembers they're in the clearing with him – stopping in his tracks to tilt his head to the side contemplatively. He brings a finger up to swipe at the blood, rubbing the red liquid between forefinger and thumb.

Then they all hear it. Hissing. Coming from Hisoka's _hair. _

Hisoka lights up, yellow eyes widening and thin lips curling into a dangerous smile, as if he's just realized what the cause of his mysterious injury was. He murmurs something neither Leorio nor Gon can make out, and the hissing increases in volume before the head of a very small black cat pops out of Hisoka's hair and tries to leap to the ground.

_Tries_, being the operative keyword.

A pale hand plucks the kitten out of the air before he can leap past Hisoka's torso. The kitten struggles in Hisoka's presumably tight grip, loud distressed meowing marking the cat's displeasure. Still, Hisoka doesn't drop the creature – instead beginning to pet him, fingers expertly scratching at an ear in such a way that it almost immediately diminishes the kitten's loud protest of his treatment.

Sensing that most of the danger has passed, Leorio slowly stands, hands absentmindedly trying to brush some of the marsh off his knees and thighs. In his direct line of sight, Leorio can see Gon confusedly staring at the kitten, arms half-extended with the fishing pole in his grip loosely. Out of the corner of Leorio's eyes, he can see a blond-ish shaped blob about the size of Kurapika, the mist obscuring much of the boy's figure, so he can't make out an exact expression.

At the sound of Leorio's movement, Hisoka's gaze turns from the kitten in his arms to the black-haired man, and Leorio freezes – pinned in place by the weight of that yellow-eyed stare. Hisoka's eyes move from Leorio, to Gon, to Kurapika in the distance.

The tension is broken by Hisoka's dramatic sigh. "Maaaa … I'm not interested in fighting you anymore. Such a shame, I was really _itching_ for a good fight." Hisoka hefts the kitten in his arms with one hand, giving it an exasperated look. "You always ruin my fun." Another sigh. "Well. I'll see you in the next phase, then?" Here, a secretive look is aimed at Gon, which has the boy gripping his fishing pole in preparation of an attack, and the kitten yowling and scratching at the hand that's holding him.

There's another few scratches to the kitten's ears before he quiets, Hisoka clearly not bothered at all by the sound of the loud noise.

With no further words, Hisoka walks into the fog surrounding them with nary a backward look, holding a kitten in hand and rubbing at the blood flaking on his forehead with the other. In a few moments, not even his silhouette is able to be seen and the tension drains out of Gon and Leorio almost simultaneously.

It was then Kurapika entered the clearing silently, and all three of them stared in the direction that Hisoka and his cat had disappeared to, wondering just what the _hell _had just happened and if it all happened to just be a strange, _strange_ dream.

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_Fin ..._ (for now)

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Well! That was just a start. I have a lot of ideas for this fic but I couldn't get the words out for some reason ... whatever! Hopefully the next chapter writes better. The next thing I'm working on is the second chapter of my KHR fic, Healer, MD - so if you like KHR, go check it out!

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Next chapter will either be Hisoka and Kitten-Harry's first meeting or another drabble taking place in the Hunter exam arc, haven't decided yet.

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I'm artemiiiiis over on tumblr! A link is on my profile page thing, so you should follow me if you want to see more ridiculousness.

Review if you like! Tell me how I did, maybe? This was really fun to write but a struggle _especially_ for such a short chapter, so I'd like to know how you all liked it! Also, positive feedback and concrit will definitely inspire me to write more and update faster (maybe)!


	2. Gittarackur x Vs x A Cat

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the fic idea/writing.

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Summary: After being stuck in as a kitten, Harry thought his life couldn't get any worse, but then again, this was before a certain jester found him and decided Harry would make a nice pet.

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I'm going to try to keep the word count length of these drabbles under 1k, just so it allows me to update faster.

Warnings: N/A, although this entire concept is pretty cracktastic.

Pairings: ... actually, I have no idea. Does anyone have any ideas? Harry's eventually gonna turn back into a human and I'm _kinda_ leaning towards Hisoka/Harry _but_ ... idk. (Maybe Illumi/Harry/Hisoka? _Who knows._)

Timeline: This drabble happens just after Illumi and Hanzo finish the Second Phase.

_**I'm going to try to update this pretty frequently. Maybe once a week, considering how short the chapters are.**_

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2. Gittarackur x Vs. x A Cat

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"_Gittarackur, applicant 301, is the second to pass. Total time is twelve hours two minutes." _

" … I figured you'd already crossed the finish line." The man's voiced is warped and hollow, a strange clicking noise echoing as his shoulder's shake. On the floor, Hisoka directs an amused glance at the still-standing man, petting his cat who hasn't tried to scratch him at all in the past few hours, and has strangely perked up at the sight of the disguised assassin. Before Hisoka can reply with a rejoinder, the self-proclaimed ninja enters the room loudly, stealth and situational awareness at a likely all-time low for someone who's _job_ it is to be silent, sneaky, and to scope out the surroundings before deeming a location safe.

"Alright! I'm first to finish!" It's here that Hanzo turns slightly and sees the two others in the room, one who looks to have been finished with the second phase for quite some period of time and his happy demeanor falls pathetically fast, despair taking over.

"_Hanzo, applicant 294, is the third to pass – " _

"I don't believe this!" Hanzo clutches at his head dramatically, nearly screaming over the announcer.

"_Total time is twelve hours three minutes."_

"I came in third … " Finally, the ninja quiets, taking his injured pride to the farthest corner away from the two Hunter examines to sulk. He doesn't turn his back to the other two, but he definitely wants to avoid looking at them – as _he_ was supposed to be first, and had psyched himself up to being so, and _damn_ this is a big blow to his ego. His sits with his back to a wall, curling his knees to his chest, which simultaneously shields his brooding face from view, but allows easy access to the weapons hidden in the bandages wrapped around his ankles and his shoes – just in-case Hisoka wants to try slicing him open like he'd done to the fake First Phase Examiner.

Once Hanzo settles down and doesn't seem likely to cause a fuss, Hisoka's gaze turns from the ninja to the man standing before him, ever-present smirk quirking his lips. "You seem to have caught the attention of my Momo-chan." It's said amicably enough, but there's something dark in Hisoka's expression, although that's to be expected - everyone who's ever gathered data on the jester or gotten close enough to him knows that Hisoka is extremely protective and almost obsessed with his cat.

The first person to suggest that he had some sort of complex however, quickly had their head severed from their neck.

"... I met him when I was on a job in Yorknew City." Gittarackur divulges the information monotonously, inconspicuously eyeing Hisoka's grip on his cat, how it looks to be possessive, almost painful and how said cat hasn't stopped bristling since Hisoka said his 'name' and looks about ready to claw his owner's eyes out. "I recognized him as your cat and fed him. He followed me around for the duration of my job. I don't know why." What's also not said is how the cat recognizes him in his disguise, but perhaps that can be chalked up to an animal's heightened sense of smell - who knows.

"Oh?" There's a malevolent lilt to the way Hisoka says that single syllable, something jealous, and it's extremely _strange_ how Hisoka is _jealous_ of him spending time with his _cat_, but the disguised assassin recognizes this as him walking on thin ice. As in - if he says the wrong thing, Hisoka will turn violent on him, regardless of their rocky friendship. _  
_

And because he has no idea what to say to appease the other man, he keeps his mouth shut, barely managing to hold himself back from uttering a surprised noise when something brushes affectionately against his ankles and a cursory glance downwards proves the 'something' to be Hisoka's cat. He risks a glance to the side, where Hisoka sits looking at his empty hands. The malicious intent of Hisoka's aura briefly spikes when seeing that _his_ cat is being affectionate with another person - something that the cat, or 'Momo-chan', never does with Hisoka, or at least not without Hisoka plying him with silvervine sticks or scratching him in a specific spot which never fails to make the cat purr for him.

Although Gittarackur very carefully doesn't pick up the cat to not further incur Hisoka's wrath, the choice is quick taken out of his hands when Hisoka's cat scales up his clothing using his claws, curling around the back of his neck, snugly fitting between his collar and his neck proper. On the ground to his side, Hisoka's malicious intent of his aura spikes and continues to spike when his cat not only doesn't move from his neck, but begins to _purr_.

Sighing inaudibly, Gittarackur resigns himself to the strange situation he's found himself in, knowing that he's at least stuck with the cat, until the rest of the contestants arrive, given how long the cat used to sleep when he previously watched over him and it wasn't as if he could simply remove the cat from his person - because completely disregarding how Hisoka might react to _that_, the cat always yowled and scratched him when he woke the cat up prematurely.

So.

He was stuck with a cat napping on his neck for the next thirty-eight hours as well as the cat's _owner_ getting increasingly more and more agitated because of Gittarackur's contact with the cat. Hopefully, Hisoka wouldn't think to attack him while the cat was curled around his throat, but that didn't stop the other man from pouring out heavy malicious intent from his aura.

Gittarackur glances at the other contestant who finished shortly after him, who was holding up fairly well, considering he likely didn't even know what Nen was. The sight of Hanzo cowering was nearly enough to brighten Gittarackur's mood, or at least it was until the cat began purring louder, and Hisoka's malicious intent spiked once more.

Gittarackur sighs once more, this time nearly audibly. This was going to be a _long_ thirty-eight hours.

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Next chapter will be Harry the Cat and Hisoka's first meeting!

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I'm artemiiiiis over on tumblr! A link is on my profile page thing, so you should follow me if you want to see more ridiculousness.

Review if you like! Also, positive feedback and concrit will definitely inspire me to write more and update faster (maybe)!


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